Author: pamela
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Choosing Schools
[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Do you choose schools like I did? Without much of a thought, I simply went for the most reputable ones that everyone else was going for and settled for the ‘best’ ones that wowed others: those that ranked high academically, had great alumnus and produced great standardized tests results.
But School is Not Education! Just a part of it.
To ensure schools fit into our children’s educational plans, we have to consider The Purpose of Schools[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]School is only part of Education.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]
The Purpose of Schools
My daughter said that with Mother Google and the plethora of online resources, there is really no need to send our children to schools to acquire knowledge any more.
You can ask about anything online to get an instant answer with far more details, taught by the best teachers and all free. So these days, we do not need to send our children to schools for academic reasons.
Still, there are reasons to send them to school. Here are mine and yours might be different. I will elaborate each of these in my book*:
- to develop citizenship
- to become socially resilient
- to learn from other adults
- to make age-peer friends
- to develop group-learning and peer-teaching skills
- to get accreditation for their studies
- to give me time to do my own things
So what do we look for when choosing schools?
1. Look Beyond the Label
One of my very good friends swears by private schools, and though he is suffering from Stage 4 Parkinson’s Disease and financially strapped, he continues to pay through his nose (>US$1,300/month) to get the ‘best’ education on earth for his son. I suggested he homeschool his son on his boat with his remaining days while he still can sail, but he is afraid his kid will lose out not being in a private school. Perhaps he had a bad experience with a public school, but…
A good education does not come from a school with the right label: there are excellent public schools, private schools infested with drugs, independent schools with poor teachers and neighborhood government schools with committed educators. We should cast our nets wider, look deeper and beyond the school label.
2. Interview the School Leaders and Teachers
The Principal.
I learned through the very hard way that the principals are the most influential people during our children’s time in school. A new principal in my son’s school was a cause of him on the brink of depression, making him unable to function in schools for years. The story still seems like a nightmare to me.
For every bad principal, I have met another ten good ones. Generally, they are happy to share their resources and knowledge. I will write about the qualities of a good principal in the book*.
A school is as good as its principal.
The Teachers.
Teachers either build up or destroy during their interaction with the children. I have written about good educators and poor ones. A good educator transforms lives while a bad one leaves you much emotional scars to handle for years.
In general I like confident teachers who have some years of working experience besides teaching, are inspired, inspiring (no typo), matured and believe they are called to teach.
I also believe teachers should be involved in more enriching activities like writing books and researching rather than being in charge of sports and performing arts, unless they are passionate about these things.[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Teachers either build up or destroy during their interaction with the children. I have written about good educators and poor ones.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]
3. Consider the Logistics
Commute Time.
Children do not like to commute in general, and it is also painful for parents to shuttle to and fro for hours just to send the kids to an ideal school. Therefore, I will always choose schools near our home.
When the push comes to shove, I have moved house or changed schools a couple of times. The hours saved are precious.
Schools within walking distance are the best.
School Traditions And Culture
Being in a school is not just about academics, it is about being in a community. Therefore, it is important for me to send my children to schools with good traditions, history and culture so that they can grow up identifying with their friends.
My daughters’ secondary school has a strange culture: the girls’ skirts must never be stained. Though it was cumbersome, it made them really careful and dainty to this day, and I like that.
Our children will adopt the culture they are immersed in six hours a day for years, so we have to pick the right culture we desire them to be in.
Facilities And Stability
Some schools are old but well-maintained, some are new yet run down. Here’s where a visit to the school is important to understand the usage of the facilities. Just having a swanky building does not say much if the students are not empowered to use them.
While in the school, look for signs to see if they are school-proud, the relationship between the educators and students, and inter-student behavior.
4. Match the Purposes
Remember the list of purposes made earlier and consider if the schools meet those. Generally, I like schools that take little of my children’s time because I like my kids at home. I am not so worried about the academic capabilities of the school because through the years, I know academics is of the least concern for my children.
So, my ‘good’ schools cannot run from eight to eight everyday to pump the kids up for standardized tests.
Secondly, I look for schools where my children can find intellectual peers so that they will neither be bored nor struggle. This is when the entrance test is important. If the children have to hot-house and study day and night (e.g. PSLE in Singapore) to qualify for a school, then the school is wrong. The kid may make it to the school but will be quickly demoralized when he realize he is in the wrong cohort with few like-minded friends.
Putting children in schools is not just about catering to their intellectual or academic capabilities, it is also about helping them find lifelong friends.
Lastly, a good school looks into the individual needs of its student and matches that against their offerings and curriculum. There should be acceleration opportunities for students who are strong in certain or all subjects, and help for the weaker ones.
Our schools are extensions of ourselves.
5. Let the Children Choose
Last and most importantly, let the children have the last say. We may help by shortlisting a few suitable schools but let them make the choice. They will be the happiest if they attend the school they want and we will spend much less time motivating them to do school-related activities.
Tutor a School-Going Child?
No, I don’t believe that a child who is attending a good school needs to go for any kind of tuition. However, if the child needs occasional help to get over a difficult problem, we should chip in or find short term assistance.
In addition, even when we send our children to schools, I still believe we as parents should teach our children something at home. It can be dressmaking, baking, algebra, music, sports or writing. Something taught systematically and purposefully so that we get to instill discipline and learn more about our children’s learning styles. This information is vital if we want to journey their educational paths with them and become partners to our children’s educators.
Talk about this in the next article.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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After School Tuition
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Tuition and Tutors
It is always discouraging to be stuck academically and because schools normally build information sequentially, the inability to understand a topic often hinders progression to the next. Tutors can come to the rescue.
Many parents think that tuition is beneficial to their children and while I do agree after school temporary tuition should be procured when the students need to get over the hump sometimes, I don’t think mandatory tuition should be encouraged.
Tuition to Hothouse
I am curious if people realize that long term tuition can be detrimental as it robs a student of a chance to develop great non-cognitive skills that is vital for academic success at more advanced stages.
My aversion for tuition starts with its instrumentality in dividing our society from the have’s and have not’s. Parents with herd’s mentality jump quickly onto the bandwagon believing and seeing temporal lustrous results in their younger years.
While it is true in any hothousing setting that immediate result can be achieved and hence may open more educational opportunities for the students when they were young I wonder if any parent ever thought of the detrimental effects of tuition on children.
Shifting Motivation/Passion from Child
Students need to want to achieve and learn how to motivate themselves, and tuition removes the need for them to learn that almost completely.
I was told that people send their children as young as five years old for phonics tuition these days, and some 12-year-olds spend more than eight hours a week having tuition!
If you consider 30 hours of school, 8 hours of CCA, 10 hours of homework, an average student already has a whopping 48-hour work week, and parents load another 8-12 hours of tuition… not including the transport time. Where would the child have a chance to think about his dreams, his passion and his direction in life?
How would he ever find the skills to manage his own schedule if he continues to run everywhere for this and that, and none planned by him?How will he have the time to dream and be creative?
Why then, are we surprised when many 18-year-olds have not nurtured a passion or found a calling by the time they start their university studies? (I am not talking about their parents’ passion or calling.)
Loss of Opportunity in Developing Thinking Skills and Grit
[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/2″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Most good tutors have systems and methodologies to help their students achieve high scores in standardized exams, and that is bad. Of course that sounds absurd, because scoring well in standardized exams is good, but not if your answers were created by someone else and regurgitated or reworded for exams.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/2″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]*Bloom’s Taxonomy is a classification of learning objectives within education proposed in 1956 by a committee of educators chaired by Benjamin Bloom.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]In the midst, the student would have lost the problem solving opportunity. In ‘rescuing’ them too quickly from difficult questions and problems, we save time and help them score higher in exams, but we rob them of that opportunity to develop their thinking skills in critical situations. They would have also lost the chance to develop grit and problem solving skills. Instead, we develop their remembering skills, which is the lowest in the hierarchy of thinking skills in Bloom’s Taxonomy.*
Trained to Look for the Single Right Answer
If you work or study in an international environment where your colleagues do not come from a hot housing atmosphere, you will know the delight of watching even an average student or worker think and create his/her own solutions, while those heavily tutored are always looking for the single ‘right’ answer that pleases either the lecturer or the boss, because they have always been fed with the right answers.
As the lecturer and an ex-boss, let me tell you that no single right answer exists in the university or in the real world. So, students who are brought up to look for them are sadly disillusioned and take a longer time to get accustomed to this fact, and learn to create solutions they believe in.
Ultimate Competition is within Oneself
Of course, I understand why everyone is still going to tuition and that some of our best teachers are still leaving public schools to become highly-paid tutors. And it is because it makes complete sense in the current situation where competition is paramount in our society. But is it really?
I have always had difficulty believing competition against peers is important, even when I was the CEO, and even when I was a competitive athlete. The best competition is within oneself, to always want to better oneself and achieve a higher goal than one has already attained, and it need not matter what others have achieved, whether they are better or worse.
Beating a peer can never justify an ego trip, and failing is never about losing face.
More than Academic Achievements
If we need to teach our students that the only way to prove that they are worthy is to have a high PSLE T-score (on a bell-curve), straight A’s for ‘O’ levels and ‘A’ levels, perfect IB and SAT scores, then we have completely missed out teaching them anything important, except to chase for academic results blindly.
Fortunately, most of us who have been through these know the limitations of mere academic results, yet we repeat the same process with our little ones.
Employees and university entrance committees know that good candidates possess great non-cognitive skills. That is why, they look for other qualities: their abilities to think on their feet, articulate their own thoughts, and communicate these confidently.
Therefore, even straight A’s students might not get into the door if they pale in comparison to those with less dazzling academic results but with great social and emotional skills. And even if they get in the door, they may not fair well unless they too unlearn their bad habits learned through tuition and acquire the proper and more important abilities.
Stop Following the Herd!
Perhaps the education system have us parents and educators going in circles chasing after the bell curve and standardized exams, but we have the fiduciary duty to ensure that in chasing these, we do not compromise our values and deprive our kids of learning important skills.
So before you recommend or sign someone up for another tuition or enrichment class, look at the student again: give it a second thought, and him/her another vote of confidence and believe that he/she can do without it.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Homeschool or School?
[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]To homeschool or school a child now becomes a real decision to make, as more and more successful homeschoolers outshine their counterparts and prove that they are sophisticated learners that renowned universities want to attract.
With the gap between the education system and families’ education expectations widening, families are turning to homeschooling for more control over their children’s education.
Despite all these, I still see an important, albeit changed role schools play in our children’s educational journey, and therefore believe every child should attend both homeschool and school some time.
My Homeschool and School Experiences
So far, I have sent my five children to a total of fourteen schools: five in Singapore, two in Australia, two in China, two in the US, and three universities in different countries.
I also homeschooled my children at different times: before all five went to kindergarten, when my son was not allowed to go to school in lower and upper primary, when my daughter experienced bully problems in school and wanted to pursue sports in upper primary, when we moved to a new country and I couldn’t find schools for the boys then aged 8 and 11 and when four of them were doing grades 9 to 12.
Therefore, it is fair to conclude that I still have a lot of faith in schools, especially the ones with good educators. Yet, at various times of their lives, when I felt it was better to homeschool, I would do so.
Generally, when there is a good school available, I will not miss an opportunity to send them, but when there isn’t I will not hesitate to arm myself with a good curriculum and teach at home.
There are merits of both sending children to school and homeschooling, and I will mention three each in this article and write the rest later in the book*.
Benefits of homeschooling
Homeschooling is more efficient academically.
It takes a fraction of the time required by traditional schools to impart the same knowledge . Time is saved from traveling, waiting between classes, waiting for the class to get into order or for the teacher to complete other administrative tasks.[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]You can find my simple Homeschool curriculum here.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]My cleverer boys finished Algebra I at high school level in three days and the slowest of them took two weeks. No matter which school I sent them, they would have taken at least a semester to a year to do the same. Teaching at home saves a lot of waiting time, and allows us to move at our own pace.
Homeschooling is cheap.
Besides the materials and the parents’ time (which can be costly), there’s very little else to pay for. I managed to homeschool my children despite having a full-time job as I will typically spend two hours a day with them.
Once the child has learned to be independent, the parent’s involvement can be minimal. I think the key to homeschooling or any schooling is to instill that love for learning so that they want to pursue the knowledge themselves.
So it is possible to keep a job and still homeschool the children, making it an even more financially viable option.
Homeschool accommodates child-paced learning.
Depending on the curriculum subscribed, homeschooling allows children to move at their own suitable paces without having to compromise with classroom structures.
Therefore, properly homeschooled children are normally ahead of their peers academically. In fact, many radically accelerated children were homeschooled, as well as many children with disabilities who went ahead to do better than their school-going peers.
Benefits of Schooling
School environment encourages diversity.
I believe it is important for children to be aware of where they are in their environments and societies, and mixing with peers in schools gives them a good understanding of that.
In schools, the opportunity to work with people with different intellectual, financial and social abilities provides a glimpse of the kind of society they live in.
Schools make children more resilient.
It takes a lot of skills for children to exist and function in schools: to compromise in a classroom, to obey their teachers, to respect other children and their properties and to learn playground politics.
The important skills required to compromise and co-exist with non family members are difficult to be taught at home effectively.
Children should learn from strangers.
The greatest gift humans have over other creatures is the ability to learn from people not within our own immediate communities. School-going children are taught by teachers they like or dislike; there is very little room for choice.
I believe schools offer an opportunity for children to learn from anybody – an important life skill children should possess. People who can learn from anyone has the currency to tap knowledge from an infinite pool of resources.
So how do we decide when to send children to school and when to homeschool them? Better still, how do we mix both to get the best education outcome for our children? I will share with you my thoughts through my journeys in the next article.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Homeschool Curriculum
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My Simple Homeschool Curriculum
When it comes to homeschooling, the curriculum is the most important tool. You can either adopt complete curriculum packages, combine curriculum materials and curriculum guides or create your own course of study. I tried all three.
Homeschool Curriculum Choices
I adopted some Homeschool packages when I first homeschooled my first child, and subscribed curriculum from US Christian organizations because Christians were the main homeschool providers during the late 1990s. After using a few of them, I am now more confident of what I want for my children. Here is what I did when I homeschooled my children, it may or may not be useful for everyone. Please remember every child is different, so I hope that you will adapt accordingly.
I believe any syllabus from any education system is great, that is if we as parents execute them properly. I mix and try a bunch of stuff from various institutions. Here they are:
My Homeschool Journey
I started homeschooling DD1 when she was 4 years old. She was doing K-2 (Kindergarten to Grade 2) work. She was already picking up books from Popular and wanted to do them, so I decided to enrol her in a homeschool system (CLASS https://www.homeschools.org/whatIsCLASS/index.html) and took her through one year. That was in year 2001.
DD2 was homeschooled when I took her out of Primary 5 in her school. Both DD1 and DD2 wanted to travel and do sports that year and I wanted to support them on that. Nevertheless, the school teacher dissuaded me from homeschooling DD1 because it was her PSLE year and told me she would have missed out a lot. She was in her school’s top class, and I wasn’t sure what she would have missed, but in any case, she missed out a few good sports trips that DD2 went on. That was in year 2008.
Last year, I homeschooled DD2, DS2 and DS3 when we all left to join the older kids overseas while the latter do their university courses. In 6 months, DD2 completed her pre-university studies and started university. She mostly self-directed her own studies, which included preparing for standardized exams meant for 18 year olds. She was 14 when she made it to the university.
DS2 was P6 last year, so was to take PSLE, but we skipped that because we were not in Singapore. Instead, I put him on the US High School Diploma which he finished with a good GPA. But as I felt that education is more than academic studies, I continue to send him to a High School while he attends university classes.
My Typical Homeschool Curriculum
My youngest son is 10 and the only one still being homeschooled. We’ll likely keep his schedule till he is ready for university. I use the Singapore system for Maths, Chinese and Science (just like all my other children).
As my youngest child could not read or add at 7 years old, I started him on the US Kindergarten Math and Reading programs. (Stanford’s EPGY). When he finished the Grade 6 and Grade 4 programs on EPGY, I started the syllables with P2 Maths again (even though he was already more advanced), then we moved on to P3, P4 and P5 Maths whenever we feel that he has learnt the materials.
Interestingly, there is little frustration (unlike in school), no judgmental or competitive remarks from teachers and friends, and he gets to finish his work fast and progress to what he likes, like going out to play or have a game of monopoly, or do art for an extended period. He gets to do a lot more art than in school, he loves calligraphy. Maths take 45 minutes a day.
For Chinese, I just follow the Singapore pace, about 1 chapter every 2 weeks. He does the P3 books this year. To achieve this, we spend about 20 minutes a day on Chinese. This year, I have given up on working on Chinese, because I sent him to school and do not want him to be bogged down with studying. I believe he can always pick up the language later.
For Science, I cover the school books, but we feel those are limited. We use our encyclopedia a lot, the internet and Youtube to find resources and enrichment. For example, when we studied classification, we went all the way to research on species and taxonomic rank (which is covered in high school/Pre-U), when we studied about earth, we covered geography, oceans, seas, continents and some history. All because it is fun, and not because it is required in the syllabus. We make videos and animation together after learning all these, mostly full of pranks and unrelated cartoons just for fun (not the serious, serious type that you have to do in school). Science also takes 45 minutes a day.
Last month, I started teaching this son programming with MIT’s Scratch, which is free and fun.
You might also be interested in Khan Academy’s videos. They are informational and good for spatial students.
I managed to teach him Algebra I (which is what Grade 11 students do in the US) before he turned 10. I think this is good achievement since he couldn’t even add just 3.5 years ago.
For English, I find the Singapore books quite poor, so I don’t really use them. I divide English into Grammar, Vocab, Writing and Reading. Grammar – I use “First Aid in English” for every kid, they normally cover this in P1 to P3. Vocab, I use vocabulary cartoons meant for SAT takers, For Writing, I use https://time4writing.com/.
For reading, I have small assignments (one or two books) for him to achieve everyday, and he writes a small book review at the end which just takes 10-15 minutes normally. We spend 30 minutes on vocab, and 15 minutes on writing assignments and then however long he likes for reading.
I have acquired a reading program recently, taught by native speakers and hope to launch it next year. Hopefully, it will be more systematic.
As the teacher, the job is to assign the work, and I set the syllabus and determine the sequence of work to be done. There’s no fixed target how much must be finished in a year or day, we move according to what the child wants to do. Sometimes, we cover more, somedays, we cover less. On the average, my kids move 3-4 grades a year using this methodology, with lots of enrichment and fun.
Social, Aesthetics and Sports
For social, I bring the younger kids for sports 3-4 times a week and the older kids do their sports 5-6 times a week. The older kids were all national representatives in their sports, so they travel with their teams overseas, go for training camps, and sports clinics. I no longer tag along with the older kids. For the younger ones, DH and I still make sure we arrange play dates and maintain birthday parties.
For art, I cover calligraphy (because I do this myself), animation and anime drawings. My daughter has become really good at still life and she has offered to teach the younger ones. DS2 has become really good at animation with the Nintendo DS, so he does them a lot.
For music, I only have time to nurture them on the keyboard, so all of them do the same instrument. All the first 4 children finished their grade 8s at 10 or 11.
After grade 8, most of my kids pick up another instrument of passion mostly without teachers. DS1 took up clarinet and guitar, DD1 voice, DD2 voice and cello, DS2 – nothing.
I also cover the Bible on a daily basis, still using the CLASS books. We spend about 15-20 minutes on this everyday.
Other enrichment: My children all bake cakes. I don’t have a proper syllabus though I think I might come up with one soon. We bake about once in 2 months together. My girls sew dresses and knit.
I am no expert in homeschooling, I just do what makes sense for my kids. I believe any system you adopt should not stifle a child academically, and when they want to move on to more difficult things, we should never delay, something totally in opposition to any education system.
I don’t believe in ‘age appropriate material’. I believe a kid should lead in a learning process, so I let them do what they want, but first they must cover a sensible requirement or syllabus, they cover their ‘staple’ quickly in a day, and then move on to do what they have passion for.
For passion, different kids have different definitions : Maths, computer programming, art, animation, playing the piano, or just sitting there doing nothing. I believe a kid should not be sitting down 6 hours a day in school and spend half of that being scolded or watching others being scolded. My kids do not spend more than 2 hours on their academic work daily when being homeschooled.
I also believe kids should be outdoors and not kept inside, this is to protect their health and eyesight. So all my kids do their sports diligently with discipline.
Don’t Cheat the Child
A note on the times. I set the times and ensure that is never exceeded. For example, even though his piano lesson is 1 hour, he normally finishes in 20 minutes, that’s fine. His Maths is 45 minutes, but if he cannot finish the 5 pages he is allocated, I take note of how much he can do (e.g. 4 pages) and reduce the workload to 4 pages going forward. That way, we tailor the pace the child moves through his grades.
It is important never to ‘cheat’ on the time (that is cheat on your kid by asking him to do more!). I believe that if you do that, you’ll take away his trust in you, and the passion he has for any topic. That is too much of a trade off. I prefer to raise a motivated, enthusiastic kid than a head-knowledge-walking-dead-genius.
Tracking the Progress
I also made my little boy a booklet to let him keep track of his own progress and to inform him of what is expected of him. The goals (set by him) are clear, and the progression of his work is also clear.
He also collect his stars from his teachers (either my daughters or I) and puts them on this same booklet. If he collects all his stars for the day, he gets money to buy hot cocoa at the sports center when he goes for sports or he can walk down to 7-11 for a slushy if we are in Singapore. Something he really likes.
Though done in a fun way, this is our little ‘contract’, curriculum book, and the teachers’ (my daughters’) guidelines when I am not around to monitor.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Homeschooling the Schooled
[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]During my fifth child’s PTM with his kindy teacher, I could sense that she was trying very hard to be encouraging while giving me the news as it was – my six-year-old son was to graduate from kindergarten unable to read or add.
In addition, even though he had great penmenship and coloring skills, he could never finish his school work on time. Therefore, his graduation file was filled with half-completed work.
Strangely, I was neither distressed nor apologetic and had every excuse: his brother was having so much problems in school, I had to camp in his school every day. I also had to ferry my three older children for sports training twice a day, and had no family support after my father-in-law passed away.
I could hardly cope with just putting meals on the table so why would I have time to read to him or deal with his academic studies? After that first and last PTM I attended, he was to start formal schooling in Primary 1 (or Grade 1), and I knew he would struggle with zero literacy and numeracy. What was I to do?
Building the First Foundations
Unlike most parents who engage tutors at the first instance, I deliberately slow down on the academic front. Knowing he is timid by nature, I wanted a good ‘canvas’ to work on, so decided to improve his self-esteem first. I told him he would become the smartest child among all my children, (I just didn’t tell him his four older siblings started reading from 9 months to 4 years old), and that he would be good at both Math and English. I boldly told him he would be a genius – something he still believes he is to this day.
Slowing Down
The next thing was to find a good syllabus to teach him with. I didn’t want to engage tutors, or play catch up with the P1 syllabus that he would not be able to follow. Trying to catch up with the school teacher was too stressful for me. My plan was to find a good curriculum and spend two hours a day with him. A plan that lasted to this day.
Since he was not ready for P1 or Grade 1 work, I decided to use the US Kindergarten curriculum for Language Arts, Writing and Math. I also engaged my husband’s help to read Berestein’s Bears and Dr. Seuss to him every night. In two months, he started to read and could add. I also bought a clock to teach him how to tell time.
Planning for Success
For three years now, I plan the syllables every six months using resources from the Internet, books I bought from the bookstore, or Singapore textbooks when we go back for vacations. My son and I agree that he has to do five pages of Math and thirty minutes of writing and Language Arts everyday.
Three years on, my son is a far cry from that academically inferior boy. He has been accelerated two years by his school. At home, we have just finished US High School Algebra I (equivalent to Grade 10 Math in Australia or Sec 1-2 Math in Singapore) and he is covering SAT writing and vocabulary. To some extent, I think we made some good progress.
I knew that if I had chosen to pump him with tuition, hot-housed him with a heavy workload, or rush to have him score As in his SA or CA, then I would have not achieved what we did. Education is a long journey and I still do not know if he will be successful academically but we are progressing.
Filling an Important Gap
Besides helping my son catch up, I had to homeschool my children when they could not go to school for various reasons either by choice or by circumstances.
My definition of homeschooling is to have a fixed time-table, firm schedule and a place to sit down with the children to cover a specific curriculum. Over the years, I have taught my children many things that I have no expertise in.
I taught my daughters three grades in a year on the piano when they had no piano teachers (I am Grade 0), one passed with merit and the other with distinction. All my four older children were homeschooled for 23 subjects at High School level (Grades 9 – 12 or Secondary 4 to J2) including Math, History, all Sciences, Computer Programming, Visual Arts, Music Theory, Geography, Literature and Psychology.
Of course, I know some subjects really well, but for the others, I knew almost nothing. After they have earned their High School Diploma, I still do not know some subjects very well because my job was more a guide than a teacher. I had to teach them how to learn effectively.
Facilitating Acceleration
It is when we homeschooled that my children accelerated the fastest. My third daughter finished three years’ High School work in nine months when she was 13, my fourth son finished the same in six months when he was 11. I know that they could not have made it to the university in their early teens if not for our family’s habit of homeschooling ever since they were young.
Homeschooling puts them miles ahead of their age peers.
I have learned that homeschooling is not so much about teaching but learning. Success requires a good curriculum, sheer determination and discipline.
Homeschool is a Secret Weapon
Over the years, I have stopped playing catch up with schools, letting teachers teach what they need, and never tutoring my children school work. Instead, I have chosen to look for other curriculum and teach them useful things or skills I know they will need later. It reduces boredom and gives them confidence. It also gives us plenty of common things to share.
So there. My experiences with homeschooling, which includes how I helped my son who was falling behind academically. We tried something radical, did away with tuition and self-pity, slowed down rather than fire-fight.
With a good curriculum and the willingness to spend time to learn with the child, he will not just overcome, he will surge ahead.
Every time the education system fails me, I will remember that nobody owes us anything. They can take away school from us, but they can never take away our education. So instead of complaining, I will brandish my little secret weapon: the homeschool planner. I hope that every parent will find that secret weapon, too.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Great Educators Matter
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Great Educators make Great Students
[/vc_column_text][vc_video link=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFnMTHhKdkw”][vc_column_text]I was touched by how instead of screaming at my nine-year-old daughter, he put his arms around her shoulders and explained to her that the greatest tragedy is to have to ever lie to a parent who cares, because the parent is someone who will stand up for her no matter what happens.
It didn’t take him even a second to forgive my daughter for telling a lie that got him and a few teachers in the school spinning around to look for solutions. His motive was clear: he captured the opportunity to teach his student and not only did my daughter learn the lesson well, we remember his kindness to this day.
Unfortunately, a principal like that is often under appreciated.
I put my child in his school simply because I was a horrible and busy CEO-mum who was too busy preparing for my own company’s listing that I forgot to register my child for primary school. Fortunately, this principal’s school moved into the neighbourhood that year and he had many places left even after Phase 2C was over. He gladly took my kid in.
It is not only about Academic Results
Trying to reform myself from the inattentive mum, I asked about the future of my child: the GEP program, EM1 etc etc. His tacit reply was that he was not concerned about those and his aim was not to gear the children for examinations.
Through the years, my children and their classmates did not have supplementary or remedial classes, instead, they participated in activities he engaged the alumnus help to bring into the school. The school had interesting CCAs like stilt-walking, from traditional to modern dances, and my daughters went on to sing in the new choir, and swam in the new swim team.
When I went to fetch my younger daughter one time, I saw him teaching her how to mop the floor to keep it dry and safe after the rain. He weighed my daughter’s bag when we told him it was really heavy, he sent a thank you card to me for sponsoring the school swim team and for always being there to cheer for them.
My contributions to the school were few, but when I spent an afternoon just tying the choir girls’ hair up, the thank yous were never-ending.
Partnering the Parents
Our school is not an ‘elite school’, so most children come from double-incomed heartlander families. During the choir competitions, we have a meagre group of five parents cheering for our 80-strong choir. The school was not choosy who got into the choir, every child who wanted to sing could sing for the school While our support was pathetic, our children’s voices were powerful.
Other choirs had beautiful and shining costumes, while our kids just wore their cleanest uniforms and sang with gusto. For the four years my girls spent in the choir, the choir went for two competitions and the school won two Gold awards, a feat not even achievable by more matured choirs.
I believe it was all because the school had great leadership and passionate teachers. Though the teachers could not garner many parents to support them during working hours, they made up this lack by their clear communications with the parents, amicable relations with those of us who could help, and being always appreciative.
Year after year, whenever there was a national sport competition, my son’s school teachers would be counting the number of medals they win, while my girls’ school was happy to have a finalist. While my sons’ school had a set of track suit each, my daughter’s friends were happy to have a new T-shirt with their names that are printed by a printer I engaged.I did that just so they would feel special about representing their school.
The swim teacher would be there to smile whenever the school team lost but would make sure my girls got the recognition they deserve for representing the country in their respective sport. Even in a neighbourhood school, my daughters were given the same opportunities as my sons.
The principal and teachers never fail to thank me above what I really deserve, and because of the wonderful relationship with the school, both my girls had great primary school educations, and great memories of their childhood. And even though one of my daughters had problems with school at one time, the school volunteered a counselor without my prompting.
End of an Era
By the time my younger daughter reached upper primary, it was time for this principal to leave. There was no fanfare, no great celebration. I heard that he was to become the principal of another neighbourhood primary school.
Some said that he was not promoted because of his mediocre performance but I choose to believe he was so good with our school, that he has gone on to do the same for another school.
Indeed, our school was transformed from a simple neighbourhood school to a sought-after one vibrant with interesting activities and good PSLE scores. While there was no career celebration according to some, the love in the kids were present. My daughter cried for a week and still talks about him to this day. Certainly, the care and concern he showed to my daughters were felt.
Soul Educators
An educator like him makes a difference in our children’s lives. Selfless, giving and did not succumb to the many measurements that would have made him mercenary so that he could climb the corporate ladder. While he was concerned about the academic results, he was even more concerned for bringing up good people with souls. He set the culture for the school and his teachers were no less great to work with.
While I wonder if his effort will be appreciated by those who matter more in his career path, I appreciate him deeply for all that he has done.
It is often the silent workers, the quiet and unassuming educators who make differences in our children’s lives, yet they are often forgotten.
Soul educators are also in my son’s school. I remember the Australian P5 teacher who would give my P2 child a place in her class when his own teacher sent him away, the disciplinary master who would soften her voice and told my son he could run to her whenever he had problems, the gentle VP who would stop by for every boy to have a gentle word with him, the Chinese teacher who was not afraid to say that my son was not a problem even though she was pressurized to say he was, the kind Killer Whale GEP HOD who would use antiseptic wipe to clean the floor so that it was spotless for the boys to sit on.
Sadly, their voices were often drowned by their more aggressive and career-minded colleagues or superiors who needed quicker and more evident results than building up a soul. Often, their humanly advice go unheard amongst the more aggressive demands of theirs and their superiors’ KPIs.[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]And while you won’t like them (students) all, the key is they can never, ever know it. So teachers become great actors and great actresses and we come to work when we don’t feel like it and we listen to policies that don’t make sense and we teach anyway.
We teach anyway because that’s what we do. Teaching and learning should bring joy. How powerful would our world be if we had kids who were not afraid to take risks, who had a champion. Every child deserves a champion, an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.
Is this job tough, you betcha, but it is not impossible. We can do this, we are educators. We are born to make a difference.
~ Rita Pierson[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]So, perhaps I was really a useless mom who even forgot to register my child in a school during the P1 registration. But that mistake was probably the best that I have ever made, and my daughters have that mistake to thank for their priceless primary school education, one that is built around relationships and care.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Educator’s Role in Education
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Teachers and Educators
It is always discouraging to be stuck academically and because schools normally build information sequentially, the inability to understand a topic often hinders progression to the next. Tutors can come to the rescue.
Many parents think that tuition is beneficial to their children and while I do agree after school temporary tuition should be procured when the students need to get over the hump sometimes, I don’t think mandatory tuition should be encouraged.
Tuition to Hothouse
I am curious if people realize that long term tuition can be detrimental as it robs a student of a chance to develop great non-cognitive skills that is vital for academic success at more advanced stages.
My aversion for tuition starts with its instrumentality in dividing our society from the have’s and have not’s. Parents with herd’s mentality jump quickly onto the bandwagon believing and seeing temporal lustrous results in their younger years.
While it is true in any hothousing setting that immediate result can be achieved and hence may open more educational opportunities for the students when they were young I wonder if any parent ever thought of the detrimental effects of tuition on children.
Shifting Motivation/Passion from Child
Students need to want to achieve and learn how to motivate themselves, and tuition removes the need for them to learn that almost completely.
I was told that people send their children as young as five years old for phonics tuition these days, and some 12-year-olds spend more than eight hours a week having tuition!
If you consider 30 hours of school, 8 hours of CCA, 10 hours of homework, an average student already has a whopping 48-hour work week, and parents load another 8-12 hours of tuition… not including the transport time. Where would the child have a chance to think about his dreams, his passion and his direction in life?
How would he ever find the skills to manage his own schedule if he continues to run everywhere for this and that, and none planned by him?How will he have the time to dream and be creative?
Why then, are we surprised when many 18-year-olds have not nurtured a passion or found a calling by the time they start their university studies? (I am not talking about their parents’ passion or calling.)
Loss of Opportunity in Developing Thinking Skills and Grit
[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/2″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Most good tutors have systems and methodologies to help their students achieve high scores in standardized exams, and that is bad. Of course that sounds absurd, because scoring well in standardized exams is good, but not if your answers were created by someone else and regurgitated or reworded for exams.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/2″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]*Bloom’s Taxonomy is a classification of learning objectives within education proposed in 1956 by a committee of educators chaired by Benjamin Bloom.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]In the midst, the student would have lost the problem solving opportunity. In ‘rescuing’ them too quickly from difficult questions and problems, we save time and help them score higher in exams, but we rob them of that opportunity to develop their thinking skills in critical situations. They would have also lost the chance to develop grit and problem solving skills. Instead, we develop their remembering skills, which is the lowest in the hierarchy of thinking skills in Bloom’s Taxonomy.*
Trained to Look for the Single Right Answer
If you work or study in an international environment where your colleagues do not come from a hot housing atmosphere, you will know the delight of watching even an average student or worker think and create his/her own solutions, while those heavily tutored are always looking for the single ‘right’ answer that pleases either the lecturer or the boss, because they have always been fed with the right answers.
As the lecturer and an ex-boss, let me tell you that no single right answer exists in the university or in the real world. So, students who are brought up to look for them are sadly disillusioned and take a longer time to get accustomed to this fact, and learn to create solutions they believe in.
Ultimate Competition is within Oneself
Of course, I understand why everyone is still going to tuition and that some of our best teachers are still leaving public schools to become highly-paid tutors. And it is because it makes complete sense in the current situation where competition is paramount in our society. But is it really?
I have always had difficulty believing competition against peers is important, even when I was the CEO, and even when I was a competitive athlete. The best competition is within oneself, to always want to better oneself and achieve a higher goal than one has already attained, and it need not matter what others have achieved, whether they are better or worse.
Beating a peer can never justify an ego trip, and failing is never about losing face.
More than Academic Achievements
If we need to teach our students that the only way to prove that they are worthy is to have a high PSLE T-score (on a bell-curve), straight A’s for ‘O’ levels and ‘A’ levels, perfect IB and SAT scores, then we have completely missed out teaching them anything important, except to chase for academic results blindly.
Fortunately, most of us who have been through these know the limitations of mere academic results, yet we repeat the same process with our little ones.
Employees and university entrance committees know that good candidates possess great non-cognitive skills. That is why, they look for other qualities: their abilities to think on their feet, articulate their own thoughts, and communicate these confidently.
Therefore, even straight A’s students might not get into the door if they pale in comparison to those with less dazzling academic results but with great social and emotional skills. And even if they get in the door, they may not fair well unless they too unlearn their bad habits learned through tuition and acquire the proper and more important abilities.
Stop Following the Herd!
Perhaps the education system have us parents and educators going in circles chasing after the bell curve and standardized exams, but we have the fiduciary duty to ensure that in chasing these, we do not compromise our values and deprive our kids of learning important skills.
So before you recommend or sign someone up for another tuition or enrichment class, look at the student again: give it a second thought, and him/her another vote of confidence and believe that he/she can do without it.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
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Educators’ Perspectives
[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]As she justified to her supervisor why she had suspended my 9-year-old son indefinitely from the classroom, my heart sank, because the more she spoke, the more she showed me what kind of educator she is.
She had no care nor concern for the child and her job in the meeting that day was to justify and ensure she kept her position as the principal.
Though I had asked for the agenda for the meeting, my emails were ignored. I realized why later: by not providing me the information, there was no way for me to find out from my son what happened from his perspective. If they were to bring out any incidents and I would be caught off guard.
The P3 form teacher even told me she was on gag order by her principal.
Suspended Indefinitely
Nobody communicated anything to my family prior to my son bringing home a letter that had only three sentences in it, saying he would be suspended from school: no action item required, no date of when he would return, no mention of what he did wrong, except that the school did not know how to handle him.
I called the form teacher, all she said was that she was not allowed to talk about it and asked her why she recommended for my son to be suspended. She said she didn’t and it was ‘management’s decision’.
I called the principal, who said he was not to go to school until further notice. I asked her what she wanted to achieve and what she wanted him to learn – no answer.
Round about February, the school wrote to me to ask my son to go for his term 1 exams in March. I was surprised – not allowed to go to school but he was to sit for term 1 exams?
I told the school he did not even attend school for months, so how was he to know what to study? I was not going to set him up for failure like that.
The principal’s reply was that if we refused, he would not be eligible for school honours which he won the year before (even without attending school). But I was not going to take it anymore, I complained – after almost two years of unreasonable on-and-off suspensions from a principal who thought she could get away with anything.
Our piano teacher rejoiced! She asked me why I took so long to make this complain, being a seasoned teacher to gifted children, she told me he was not very different from other gifted music students and did not understand why I did not do anything to help him, and accepted ‘rubbish’ from those educators.
The schoolbus driver was happy he could go to school! Even though he was suspended, I continued to pay for the school bus hoping he would get on it again. He too felt that I complained too late and asked me why.
The reason was very simple, I was convinced by this principal and his teachers that my son was not gifted and of no use, could not be handled whatsoever, and I was hoping that by not complaining, my son would have a better time in school.
I did my son a disservice that I regret to this day. I did not stand up for him against school bullies: the educators.
At the end of the meeting, I was told my son was autistic (Aspergers), and the superintendent assured me that he was not to be officially suspended again.
Special Support Denied
As he often finished his work fast, the ministry suggested the school give him extra and more challenging work but that was not taken up. I offered to prepare the worksheets so that the school could use them for other kids as well – no response. He was too bored after he finished his work, but no one wanted to acknowledge that.
After so many threats from the school, we agreed to send him for an IQ test, it was a disaster because it was raining heavily and he was so worried about me driving around, he refused to answer the junior psychologist any question.
When I told our own psychologist that the test might not be exact, she said it was not important, as all they wanted to know was that he was at least average. Riding on this result, they believed he was not gifted, so nothing was done.
I was lost – not gifted, not special, so the only possibility was exactly what they said: that he was a monster.
“Your child cannot be gifted, and I will know because my son was from the Gifted Program,” boasted his P2 teacher who insisted my child was so bad, I should be caning him, and that I was responsible for his behavior as an incapable mum.
Interestingly, a year later, my son also made it to the same Gifted Program.
A Monster to the Educators
“And you will sit next to the monster as a punishment!”, his P3 teacher told another student, JC, when the very brilliant boy made her furious. But to his surprise, that monster turned out completely different from what his teachers described.
JC’s mother, being an excellent parent and counselor, taught his son to love and accept my son, the ‘monster’.
With that, my son proved the teachers and allied teachers wrong: he could make friends and he could keep friends. JC remains one of my son’s best friends to this day, five years later.
Sadly, instead of being happy for my son, their student, the educators were upset that they were proven wrong.
“So my teachers are falling sick because of him, we cannot have him in our classrooms, he is hurting them”, his P4 (different) principal told me, “and even after his P4 form teacher no longer teaches the class, he is still falling sick – all because his health was weakened by your son last year!”
I wondered if the group of educators and teachers in the room felt a tinge of regret for saying such things or if they had any proof. I wondered if they were parents themselves.
They told me I was part of the reason they were withdrawing support, because I was too demanding and it was difficult to keep up with the weekly reports. It was painful yet funny, because I did not ask for weekly reports, and now that they found it hard to sustain their own standards, it was my fault.
I began to wonder if it was right to deny a child of his education even if his parents were difficult.
The Journey Alone Starts
After trying and trying and trying for years and years, I realized the journey was mine to travel alone. If I did not as his mother, stand up, fight and look for an education for him, he will be exactly like what they predicted – useless, a monster, weakening people’s health, and the only place for him was the Special School for Autistic children, whether or not he has autism.
So I hung on with all my might, while every educator gave up. I searched for that someone who would teach him and show him what his gifts are. I knew that if I failed to give up, I would find a solution.[/vc_column_text][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]It is possible, others have done it! Jacob Barnett, a genius thought to be smarter than Einstein, was also diagnosed with severe autism and went against the odds. His mother documented his journey here.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]If you think your child is hopeless, hold on. I will share with you in the next article of the journey I took to look for recovery for my son from educators’ mistreatment, ways to teach him social skills and at the same time search for educators who know how to teach him find his passion and gift to build up his self-esteem again.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]



