[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]I feel a mix of emotions when I recall the day I decided I could not send Sunshine Boy to school anymore. Looking into the mirror, I firmly told myself, “If I don’t have a solution, then nobody will.” This moment marked a significant turning point in both our lives, symbolizing a deep sense of responsibility, determination, and the beginning of an unconventional educational journey.

Reading about Nathaniel who graduated from ANU at 13 with a perfect score reminds me of my own journey.

I am reminded of the day when I realized that traditional schooling was no longer an option for him. Despite his intellect, the conventional education system failed to accommodate his unique needs. He had only spent 4 years in primary school, out of which two was fraught with suspensions and he was completely disengaged in P4. These culminated in a meeting with the Ministry of Education in the presence of the Director of GEP, his principal and the Education Psychologist, where it was suggested he be isolated from his peers.

Faced with limited options, I sought alternatives, but encountered roadblocks. They advised that given his learning disabilities, he should be attending therapies instead of class. Suggested schools like Pathlight was not appropriate for him according to our own psychologist. We explored the option of enrolling him in international schools, but the administrators at these schools informed us that while they had successfully obtained Ministry of Education (MOE) approval for gifted girls, their efforts to do the same for gifted boys like my son had never been fruitful. They advised us that pursuing this path might not be worthwhile, both in terms of effort and the associated administrative costs.

Determined to provide him with the education he deserved, I improvised. I crafted a makeshift uniform for him and integrated him into my daily routine at Singapore Management University where I taught. Our days began with a simple breakfast ritual at Koufu, featuring lor mai kai and milo, before diving into academic work. I prepared a syllabus for him, and he had to study on his own for three to four hours while I lectured in the university. In just six months, we covered the entire high school curriculum, enabling Sunshine Boy to apply to university at the age of 11.

His educational journey didn’t stop there. As Sunshine Boy wanted badly to go to school, I had to look for alternatives so that he could play with his age peers. While overseas, he concurrently attended primary school and university. At 15, he expressed a desire to experience high school, which we honoured, so he spent two years attending just high school with his friends and playing tennis for the school. By 17, he celebrated his graduation, marking the end of a challenging yet rewarding path.

Throughout this journey, I’ve shared our experiences on social media and encountered a variety of responses. Some offer support, others express curiosity about our unconventional approach, and many reach out for guidance, facing similar challenges with their atypical children.

To those who empathize with and recognize our struggles, I extend my deepest thanks. For the inquisitive, I wish to clarify that, if possible, I would have chosen a traditional educational route for my child. However, our unique situation required a different approach. There’s a common misconception that radical acceleration in a child’s education necessitates intense, pressured learning, or ‘hothousing.’ I disagree with this notion. If a child must be pushed to the limits to achieve rapid advancement, it contradicts the very principle of tailoring education to the child’s natural pace and abilities.

In my view, radical acceleration is not a first choice but a necessary intervention. It’s a crucial step, particularly vital for bolstering the self-esteem and self-worth of a child who may have been deemed lacking in other areas, such as social skills or physical abilities, by experts. As parents and educators, our role is to create pathways for success, adapting our strategies to meet the unique needs and talents of each child.

This is at the heart of the advice I offer to those in need of guidance: the importance of tailoring education to fit the child, rather than forcing the child to conform to the education system. It’s essential to align each child’s education with their path to success, which requires a profound understanding of their individual needs. For some, this may mean accelerating their education, while for others, a slower pace is more beneficial. Success for one child might be found on the sports field, while for another, it could be in artistic or aesthetic achievements.

Drawing from my experiences with my children, I have established a school dedicated to nurturing children with exceptional capabilities. We have encountered a diverse array of children, each with their unique gifts, challenges, and issues. Like Nathaniel, many have flourished in their own unique ways and on their own terms. So I know that, no matter what you are facing, there are solutions.

Most importantly, no matter the opinions of experts regarding a child’s abilities or limitations, the ultimate responsibility for a child’s education rests with the parents. This duty involves adapting to their distinctive needs and ensuring the preservation of their self-worth and esteem. It’s crucial to remember that every child’s educational path is distinct, and sometimes, opting for a less traditional route can lead to the most gratifying achievements.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]How is giving a child materials that challenges him depriving him of his childhood? By igniting a child’s passion in learning what he is passionate about, what he is good at, we actually give him a better childhood.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]”The ministry’s view is that they need to have a chance to grow up and enjoy childhood” These words rang in my ears for almost a month now. That was the response I got from a MOE senior staff when I asked her about the ministry’s view of acceleration.

So this thought has been lingering in my head: are we really robbing a child’s chance to grow up when we allow him to learn at his own pace and give him work that really challenges him?

I can never understand Grade 1 and Grade 2 work for many children who have already attended kindergarten. We teach at kindy reading, addition and subtraction, yet, when they get to Grade 1, we find ways and means to reteach them the same things, with different or prescribed methods, termed ‘the syllabus’.

Little One did not learn to read nor add by the time he went to Grade 1. His kindy teacher was super worried, I wasn’t. I was more curious how many of the rest of the 30 in his class already knew addition and had to relearn what they knew.

It doesn’t matter if they know how to add 3 digits, do simultaneous equations or percentages accurately by Grade 1, but as long as they do not show the right workings or use the right prescribed methods, they are marked wrong. Their self-esteems get a hit, and some get confused, some get anxious.

What if, instead of reteaching a new method, we give a child who already knows how to add, a chance to explore and materials that challenge him to stretch his mind? Does it really stop him from enjoying his childhood?

Well-meaning educators advise us that acceleration must inevitably be accompanied by a lot of school work. Concerned parents think the kids’ brains must be bursting from all the knowledge that is being squeezed in on a daily basis. Cynical friends think that there must be some short cuts they wished they knew, so that they too can hot house their kids. The media like to sensationalise that such prowess must somehow be compensated.

Admittedly, I am a recipient of all of the above, having chosen to allow my kids to explore wherever their minds’ eyes could see, instead of what is prescribed to them. I allow them to do whatever they are capable of, instead of allowing the system dictate to me what they should be doing. I allow them to be civil disobedient to the education system of the world.

How about forgetting about number bonds for kids who already know how to add and subtract? How about letting a child who already knows how to tell time do something else rather than relearning what is 7 o’clock and half past six?

Here’s the reality. My kids do not spend more than 1 hour doing homework outside of school hours. When they were homeschooled, they spent 2 hours studying everyday. I simply don’t believe in teaching a same concept in 5 different ways, and doing 100 pages of the same thing after the child already knows it well.

Education is not just academic. I saw my responsibility inclusive of building their life skills. The kids are able to fix their own meals since five. The boys do their own laundry weekly and iron their shirts on Sundays. The girls sew their own dresses and shorts, and bake to share with their friends every week.

They do sports with pride and integrity and are expected to take responsibility of their music talents from young with four finishing all their grades by 11. No, they don’t study 24 x 7.Far from it.

So I have a thought again whether I deprived my children of their childhood. Hm… I’d to think that I used their childhood to learn to be lifelong learners, and not only for academic pursuits.

Every once in a while, I do secretly compare my kids, who are all accelerated academically four to seven years, to those who have to spend hours and hours in and out of tuition centers, enrichment centers, pools and courts, and music studios.

I have a pretty good idea who has a better childhood. It is because (and not in spite) of our choice to protect their childhood that they have gained academic success.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/2″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]As a mother of 5, I grapple with the right way to bring up my five very different children. Do we treat them as friends? Should we be lenient or fierce? Someone asked me if I punish my child for not playing the piano?(the answer is sometimes)

It is dangerous to treat your teenagers as friends. Having raised 3 teenagers by now, they are already in their late teens and teenage is almost over. I can reflect and say that fortunately, my kids did not give me teenage heartaches except for very small, transitional ones.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-4-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color=”#960000″ background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ font_color=”#ffffff” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/2″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]3 years on, among my children, there is nobody officially a child: just three teenagers and two adults and we live in three different accommodations, two different continents. I suspect, in two more years, we will be in four continents. Time does funny tricks.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]It is dangerous treating them as friends because they are not your friends, they are our responsibilities and they need to know we set the rules and are the authorities, and that cannot be compromised. However, my kids know that they can always come to me for anything and I will listen and work out any issue with them. Even if the whole world is against them, they know I will be by (though I may not be on) their side, without deviation.

Being a good listener and being there for the kids are important, so is assuring them you have gone through more than them and therefore will know certain circumstances, certain issues better than them and their friends.

I am not sure if I sound really harsh, but if I do, then perhaps I have overly emphasized the importance of being a parent and not a friend, for a good reason.

Over the last 20 years, I have seen how my children have changed from taking everything I say as the ultimate truth, to challenging what I say and peer-influenced, back to realizing what I say make sense afterall, one full cycle. Those teenage years were not difficult because when they challenged me, I would hear them out completely but always told them my decision was final, sometimes to their dismal, but they got used to realizing who the authorities in the house are.

My kids are now big, my girls will still share their boy friend fancies with me, their crazy fashion sense (they buy my clothes), their secret admirers and admirees and most of all, they will listen to me for hours sharing my tips of life.

I think, if we want to have them as friends when we grow old and they have become adults, we must first support them as adults and responsible parents and not just another friend.

Just my honest opinion, and experience from an ‘older’ mother. So listen and do not judge, but be firm. Now, I tell them they can bring their children in a few years and I will find a way to look after each of my grandchildren, while they build their careers.

Hm… those childcare scares are getting into me… again. I want my children to now focus on building their families and careers as they prepare for their twenties and careers not worry about such things.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

By the time Old Boy got his PSLE results, we already knew which secondary school he would go to. He was accepted to RI and ACS (I) through DSA for sports.

Those were the only two schools he applied to so we were pretty happy. I asked him which “I” he preferred.

“None, mum, I want to go to the university.”

Nah, I waved his comments aside, one of these will be a great school with an excellent school leader and wonderful teachers. I suggested RI, firstly because it was too far to drive each way to ACS(I) and secondly, it is my alma mater, it was kind of nice to have another generation of Rafflesian in our family. He did not object or comment.

It was certainly MY tradition, I was excited to sing the school song and see some familiar teachers. For Old Boy, the initial excitement of going to secondary school slowly faded. When he was in primary school, he would chat non-stop about the things that happened in school, but when he was in secondary school, he would get into the car and fall asleep.

I had no clue how he was doing in school, until it was obvious he was not having fun. He did not submit his homework. In fact, he did not even know what homework he had. His kind teachers would give him extension after extension after extension, but he still would forget them.

At swimming meets, he would sit on a mat with me. And whenever he had an opportunity, he would run off to sit with the ACS boys. You would see a sea of white and blue and one all-white boy. Though those were rival schools, they accepted him for some reason. He was an ACS boy in an all white uniform. My friend said I put him in the wrong school.

I have forgotten his first year results, but it was good enough to not receive any academic warning. I remember the year coordinator liking him a lot because he was such a great writer. His English compositions were always top. He did well in MEP (music education program) and his mathematics was at least three years ahead of his peers. To cream it all, we didn’t have to pay school fees as he was on scholarship.

In his second year, he became quieter, and he missed even more homework. It was also at this point that I spoke to someone in MOE about Old Boy when she was handling Sunshine Boy’s issues. She suggested I look at an animation university that the government was bringing into Singapore that year.

I brought Old Boy to the briefing and he was so excited that he wanted to go to the university. But he was barely 14, so both my husband and I didn’t want him to go to uni that early, even though I knew he could qualify.

Since he was 11, I had done high school work with him at home. We don’t send our kids for tuition, because tuition is opposite of what I believe education should be. Instead of narrowing the education experience, I broadened the experience by exposing my kids to a large volume of interesting topics, and I made sure the courses taken were accredited. Through that, I knew that Old Boy had already earned enough credits to go to the university.

The weeks that followed after Old Boy saw the animation university was difficult. We didn’t want to give up a place in a prestigious school, but he didn’t want to miss out a chance to pursue something he loves.

After weeks of battle (he went on a hunger strike), we decided to give him a chance to apply. Old Boy engaged the help of an art teacher in RI to prepare a portfolio for entrance to the animation school. Every recess, he would meet this RI art teacher. So this together with his high school diploma work, he was accepted into the university at 14 years old, the youngest ever.

Once school started, he became a changed person, all chatty again. He can describe a pencil nonstop, he would stay up the whole night doing his homework. It was hard work, but he was engaged, challenged and motivated.

When the news spread that he went to university at 14, friends became curious. I remember one parent asking me what he was doing and how he got there. I explained to her that he likes to draw cartoons, and I can still recall her response, “O, I am not interested. In our family, we are either doctors or lawyers.” ????

It really does not matter to me whether my kids become lawyers or doctors or cartoonists. What is most important to me is that they find purpose in their lives and are driven everyday to do what they love.

Over the years, I have met many parents of very bright students from extremely prestigious schools but many of them have still not found their purpose nor their self-esteem. Some have cruised along for so long, it can be impossible to reverse.

In choosing a secondary school for your child, are you looking for prestige, are you looking for reasons for them to go to great schools, or are you more concerned where the kid fits, where his ‘kind’ are, and where his heart finds home.

I think I was really fortunate in that we managed to find a home for him after I fouled up. Had I not started providing him different alternatives from young, I wonder if he would be like one of these I have to counsel today. Some always believing that they are stupid, some always afraid of failure, and some will never understand their full potential.

Some say I put my son on a fast track, but I think I rescued him from the perils of modern education.

*Old Boy graduated at 18, and became an entrepreneur. He is now 25 and owns a patent, his business has gone multi-million and he is now considering going back to do a masters degree to upgrade himself for the next phase of his life, having worked for 7 years.